Friendship day – Working out on what true Friendship and real Friends are
Friendship day is a good time to reflect upon what friendship means to you. Friends hold an important place in life as it is one relationship which we get to choose. Friends can add fun, laughter, intimacy and many such feelings that make life better. On the other hand there could be friends that lend the opposite feelings making the friendship a burden. It is not necessary that any person is bad but it could be due to circumstances or complexes.
The trouble is not being friends with them but the actual trouble lies when that friendship becomes exhausting as over the years it continues to drain out our energy, resources and sometimes even other relationships. The friendship continues to drag either due to guilt or not wanting to hurt the other person where in fact it is you who is getting hurt at all times. It ends up being at a sad place as unlike other relatives friends are people whom we can choose.As it is there are lots of issues in everybody’s life and then adding more issues like friends who are actually frenemies (friends who act as enemies) can only make life miserable. To lead a good life we need to be surrounded by people who add positivity and support in our lives and not those who with their constant negative energies make us feel low.
You don’t need an expert advice on what your relationship is with which friend as you already know it deep down inside but then too if you need to know the key characteristics of true friendship they can be listed under three qualities.
The most important quality in a healthy friendship is equality where no friend thinks of themselves as either superior or inferior. If there is a feeling of either superior or inferior than no matter how much you work on the friendship it will be difficult to sustain it. Equality is of foremost importance as it leads to ease of communication as all the parties involved can keep their point of view without being defensive or bossy.
If at some point of time you feel that the equality in the friendship is missing due to certain self-image it should be made noticeable and worked on it.
- Give and Take
Friendship is not about accounting but it is also not about always taking or always giving. A commoditization where you do this for me and I will do that for you is not what true friendship stands for. True friendship involves exchange of benefits that are mutually shared and if the benefits come only from one side, consciously or sub-consciously they come in to notice and make us doubt on the intentions of the so called true friend.
In some cases the mutual exchange is on but what you get is not what you want in the first place. For example whenever you meet one person ends up being the bottom of all the jokes or one person has to give in extra share or the conversation is only about the concerned person. These topics when you think about them seems belittle but when it happens all the time it does seem to put a dent somewhere. Reciprocity should very much be a part of friendship for it to last.
Standing in someone’s shoes and feeling them is a quality not many of us follow. But if we do feel empathy and mind you not sympathy the friendship will go a long way. Feeling what you friend might want from you be it a few words, your time or any other resource and offering it to them at the right time makes the bond of friendship even more stronger.
Empathizing with people will strengthen our relationships and eventually make us a better person.
So as Friendship Day approaches ask yourself what you feel about your friendship, your friends, are you a good friend or are your friends worth the effort? Is there equality in the relationship or is it about one getting benefits from the other and finally do you empathize with each other and work on making the bond more special.
If you find that you have something missing in your friendship and can work on it then that’s the best gift friends can give each other this Friendship Day by adding mutual love and respect but if the friendship is draining your energies and cannot be dragged further than you deserve a gift of letting go of this so called friend or frenemy and enjoy a positive life ahead without having negative people around you to pull you down.
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